My last serious relationship lasted eight years. At the five year mark, I was shopping for a ring. I had also just signed a lease on a one-bedroom apartment. She spent the Friday night at my place, and we were having breakfast on Saturday morning at Mel's Diner. After we had received our drinks and placed our orders for breakfast, I placed a copy of the key for my newly aquired apartment on the table and slid it across the table for her.
SWF: "what is this?"
Me: "It's a key to my new apartment. This is the first time I've lived alone and not had to worry about you walking in on a roommate having sex on the couch or something... I finally have a place of my own and would like to give you free access to it."
SWF: "Umm... There is something we need to talk about before you give this to me."
SWF slides the key back across the table to me.
Before this incident, I thought that writers were taking artistic liscence when they talked about meals tasting like raw cardboard. I learned better on this day. That was the worst tasting meal of my life.
When we returned to my apartment (the two-bedroom I had with Tony (not my new one-bedroom one I had offered her the key to), she basically told me that she had been sleeping with my best friend on a regular basis for over a month.
I was stupid and in love, so I took her back three months later when she begged me to. That was one of the biggest mistakes in my life. I wasted three years of my life trying to work things out with her, only to be dumped for someone almost twice her age three years later.
My advice to you is to embrace the pain. The hurt won't leave you until you embrace it and accept it as part of the learning experience that is life. I know from your comments that you feel that in 2+ generations you will never be remembered. All the more reason to live life to it's fullest now, without regard to the consequences.
A year ago, I felt the same way you do now; and from a relationship of signifigantly longer duration. Today, I go out with a carnation on my lapel that I give away to any woman I feel inclined to. I have many attractive women I can have coffee with, take out to dinner, or go out dancing with. Today, I wonder how I ever felt the need to tie myself down with such an overbearing wench (no offense intended to webwench) as I found myself tied down with.
I guess I'm just trying to tell you to vent, embrace the pain, and allow it to heal you. We all have these kinds of things happen in our lives. These things are the fire of the soul that forge us into who we are. The sword doesn't love the fire that tempers it, but it is a better blade because of it. No two people have the exact same experience, but we all have to deal with devious and unfaithful partners. Don't let it dull your ability to enjoy the wonders of life and love. We only get one shot at this life thing, it's a shame to spend it embittered and jaded just because someone happened to be an ass to us once or twice.
Grieve, recover, and live again as a better person.
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