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By anonimouse (Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 03:24:10 AM EST) (all tags)

Ford Mondeo
Deceased Jn 12 of M1
Passed away dramatically at 00:30 on 12Nov 2005, aged 296,000 miles of a sudden stroke (aka blown head gasket)
No flowers

Donations gratefully accepted.
Funeral Directors: Green Flag Rescue

< Great Moments In My Netflix Subscription | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

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RIP | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

296,000 miles by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 03:27:29 AM EST

Do you work as a minicab driver on the side?

Plus being a cuntractor I'd expect you to have an Audi at least.

He's been to the moon, by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #3 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 03:36:29 AM EST

and just started on the journey back. That machine's been a severely large number of miles.

[ Parent ]

All the mistresses. by Idempotent (4.00 / 4) #7 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 04:18:16 AM EST

You have to put some serious mileage in to keep them all "happy".

[ Parent ]

No point by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 04:43:12 AM EST

Even my current job means I'll do at least 20k miles this year just on work journeys, and previous jobs have involved longer mileages, so there's no point in a decent car for day to day use.

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]

Old Merc? by jump the ladder (2.00 / 0) #18 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 05:29:51 AM EST

Pre 1995 before the quality went shite. They can take astronomical distances no problem.

[ Parent ]

: I would have got one of them by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #19 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 05:42:52 AM EST

If I were able to fit a bike in the boot, but it seems you need an estate to do that, and that sounded like a hassle.
Also, you can join webwench's other intarweb hangouts.

[ Parent ]

Or a Passat by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #17 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 05:29:32 AM EST

And the consequent inferiority complex that comes from not being able to afford an Audi.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Time for an estate wagon or minivan by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 03:29:56 AM EST

or whatever you call minivans over there.

Impressive Mileage by Phage (4.00 / 1) #4 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 03:40:17 AM EST

My diesel 306 is only at 130k and it already produces enough smoke at start up to cause a blue-out.

It's like magic realism, but not shit. - Scrymarch.

I am sorry by nebbish (4.00 / 3) #5 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 03:41:24 AM EST

When I was a kid, I would try to will our car to break down on the M62 on the way home from my Nan's on a Sunday under similar circumstances, so I wouldn't have to go to school the next day.

Then one day it actually happened! Ha ha ha ha ha!

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

Why? WHY MUST HE TAKE THE GOOD ONES? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 04:12:22 AM EST

Say... have you considered the merits of a British Ma-

Ah, fuck it, just buy an A4 TDi like every other motorway gladiator.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

A British made Mondeo? by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 04:27:08 AM EST

You mean a Jaguar?

[ Parent ]

That was going to be my original comment by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 05:24:29 AM EST

But I think pretty much everyone knows this by now, except apparently for Jaguar drivers.

Also, by observation: X-type == girl's car.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Should go for a Swedish Vectra instead. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 05:25:41 AM EST

They look pretty popular.

[ Parent ]

: Noooes, a Prius! by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #20 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 05:48:49 AM EST

Then he can be obnoxiously smug about driving a massively overpriced pokey little car with weedy performance, no better fuel economy than a diesel, that's designed to be disposable after 8 years. I believe they come with a free lifetime subscription to the Grauniad, whether you want it or not.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

There is but a single solution by joh3n (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 04:23:20 AM EST

Aston Martin, DB9. Accept no substitutes.

----

: Good plan by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #16 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 05:26:44 AM EST

Might as well stick with a Ford.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

296000 miles is a massive amount by komet

(4.00 / 1) #9 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 04:26:26 AM EST

are you using your car as an extension of your penis, or what?

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.

: That's a bit long, isn't it? by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 04:28:42 AM EST

Getting beyond the tucking into your sock range, and a bit nearer to covering the US flag on the moon in jism.

[ Parent ]
: No extension needed by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 04:44:12 AM EST

Otherwise I would be driving a Ferrari
Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]

RIP | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback


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