Van Helsing (2004).  Total baloney storyline seems to borrow the LoXG style of reinterpreting known characters. Is this a comic to film conversion? Don't take this seriously and you'll do fine. CGI FX are better than Hulk, Spiderman II or Catwoman IMHO.

Anna and the King (1999). The King and I meets The Last Emperor. Without music. But with Jodie Foster and Chow Yun-Fat. Unintentionally funny.

Bend it like Beckham (2002). A feel good movie for girls. With a large dollop of Asian familly cliché. Keira Knightley needs to eat some pies.

The Passion of the Christ (2004). Did I enjoy the film? Not really. Was it interesting? Yes. It was pretty much what I expected from the hullabaloo. Slightly more modern Hollywood action/horror styling and less epic historical style. Definitely not suitable for kids or even most adults of a sensitive nature. The fact that Gibson does not in any way indicate the immediate sources of the plot might leave you to feel that it is his personal interpretation of biblical gospel sources. Any violence might be a historically realistic recreation of what Roman times were actually like. But this is not the case. Even the popular attribution to a hallucinating nineteenth-century German nun is not totally accurate. This interesting critique* puts the whole symbolic plagiaristic effort in a different light.

* Butterfiles and Wheels is very interesting site that aims to "fight fashionable nonsense". Worth a visit, but you can lose days reading the articles.

Xmas
I finished my Xmas shopping in the traditional manner by wandering around on Xmas eve. I'd actually made the effort to get most stuff in the previous two weeks but had failed miserably to find the most wanted stuff that the midgets were after. I didn't think that limited collector's edition Barbies would actually sell out. I didn't realise that board games that were extremely popular when I was a lad might not be sold in most shops any more, even though they're still being made. But I managed to eventually find them. At least it's better chasing around knowing what you want than not having a clue what to get people and wandering around aimlessly.

Xmas day was spent with WPKAW at MotherOfMidgets' flat with MoM and her fella and the midgets. They were very pleased with their presents. MoM had a bad cold which knocked the wind out of her sails so her fella cooked Xmas lunch and did all the entertaining. MoM has a habit of getting ill over the Xmas break, so it's good sport to get the midgets to rib their mum that she's ruined Xmas for everyone. Again. It was actually the most relaxed Xmas I've had for a while.

Pressies I got:
Word Spy: The Word Lover's Guide to Modern Culture Paul McFedries
Beyond Freedom and Dignity B.F. Skinner
Logic Truth and Language A J Ayer (which I already had).

Cigarettes and Alcohol Various
Cole Porter Songbook Ella Fitzgerald
The Essential Collection T Rex & Marc Bolan

Three chopping boards each with its own knife. I now have too many knives. And chopping boards. I feel for LFT with getting stuff you don't want when you've bothered to compile a list. Unfortunately chopping board was on my list.

I see dead people
Between Xmas and New Year WPKAW drove the midgets and I to her parents in Wales. WPKAW's parent's house is small and her sister still lives there too. Luckily the woman next door had died two weeks before Xmas so we were able to sleep in her house. All of her stuff was still there. You might think that would be unnerving, but it was as though she'd just gone away for the Xmas break.

New Year
Seeing as I have no friends I stayed in. But people came round and ruined my attempt at solitude. Seeing as WPKAW is staying at the moment**, she invited some of her friends round who were suprisingly good people. We drank of red wine, more red wine, ate of cold continental meats, smoked salmon, exotic stinky cheeses, baguettes dipped in melted camembert, drank of more red wine, cava, champagne and Baileys (without ice). Dawn was just thinking of breaking as we retired. January 1st was suprisingly hangover free.

** "At the moment" seeming to mean "until I throw her out". She has (as foretold by RogerBunty amongst others) gotten her slippers under the bed. I am not amused and she knows it.

A philosphy joke from BaW
A friend of mine was present at a high-powered ethics institute which had put on a forum in which representatives of the great religions held a panel. First the Buddhist talked of the ways to calm, the mastery of desire, the path of enlightenment. The panellists all said 'Wow, terrific, if that works for you that's great'. Then the Hindu talked of the cycles of suffering and birth and rebirth, the teachings of Krishna and the way to release, and they all said 'Wow, terrific, if that works for you that's great'. And so on, until the Catholic priest talked of the message of Jesus Christ, the promise of salvation and the way to life eternal, and they all said 'Wow, terrific, if that works for you that's great'. And he thumped the table and shouted: 'No! It's not a question of it if works for me! It's the true word of the living God, and if you don't believe it you're all damned to Hell!'

And they all said: 'Wow, terrific, if that works for you that's great'.