This morning, I woke up and noted the rain, so I went to Metrolink's website to double check the schedule. Refused connection. Odd. I google for it, and google gives me the schedule: 10 dead, hundreds injured. Clearly, there will be no Antelope Valley Line today. Death and destruction all round. The bike it is, then.
Where was breakfast? I know for a fact there was oatmeal in the cupboard last night. I couldn't sleep, so I ate some. This morning, it vanished without a trace. Nothing else resembling breakfast around.
I got my bonus today. It was underwhelming, as expected. Less than half my dental bill, after taxes. It also feels like dirty money. "We're going to have everyone set three personal goals, and encourage you all to put the blinders on and work on your own little piece and not question whether your piece makes sense, whether your skills are being applied, or whether the people who assign the pieces are directing us slowly, surely towards failure." Assholes. To devour the energies of brilliant people working for no money on a project they believe can make a difference.
Fuck this. I need, once again, a project. Something I can apply myself to. Perhaps one that can be accomplished with the help of another human being. I'm dying for some collaboration out here.
But sticking to a project is the main thing. I'm not a multi-tasker. When I have a notion, I pursue it. When I am interrupted, I often don't come back. I'm littered with the detritus of dead projects. This is a problem; it means I cannot treat something as a "day job." It gets my fire, or it turns it away.
I need a better book on information theory. Control theory. Re-learn the higher calculus and make it stick this time. Electronic design. Neurophysiology of music. A clean house. A house full of crazies. Someone to remind me that that thing I was thinking about last week, that's still worth doing. Those toys, they're still worth playing with.
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