I have a Diary
By
Bob Abooey (Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 07:02:04 AM EST) (
all tags)
Five score years ago, a great Internetian, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Scoop Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Internet Chuckleheads who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice at K5. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred Internet years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Husi'r is still not free.
One hundred Internet years later, the life of the Husi'r is still sadly crippled by the manacles of full-discs and the chains of fallen-over-proxies. One hundred Internet years later, the Husi'r lives on a lonely website of poverty in the midst of a vast Internet of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Husi'r is still languishing in the corners of blogging society and finds himself an exile in his own Husi account.
So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our Apache webserver to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent spec for HTML and the Declaration of Collaborative Media, they were signing a promissory note to which every Husi'r was to fall heir.
This note was a promise that all anonymous Internet noodnicks would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of comments, dairy-posting, and the pursuit of clever trolling. It is obvious today that Tim Berners Lee has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of Husi are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, Husi has given the unwashed masses a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this Internet. Blah blah blah.
Jeepers, is it cold outside or what? Cold, snowy and all that crap. Now, if I were a negroe, or working for the state, it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't have to "work" today, but nay, I'm just some pasty white flunky who works for The Man. Thusly here I am, sitting in my lonely little cube and working my fingers to the bone. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE FOR THE WHITE MAN?
Okay, since TDP keeps posting little snippits of his guitar playing I think it's time for the GREAT REPUBLIC OF USISTAN to represent. Sadly, I don't have that kind of power, but I can offer up a small little snippet that I committed to bits and bytes last night whilst frittering about the G minor pentatonics. It's only a minute long and called Three Shades of Gray for no real good reason. Please to excuse my weak bend at :18. I've gotten to the point I can nail them right on pitch when I practice them, but when I try to do it while playing it's hit or miss. Well, anyways, as usual, it, much like any Greatfull Dead song, will sound a whole lot better if you're stoned out of your friggin gord.
Right, have you had a look at the calender lately? It's almost Super Bowl time again and we know what that means! Yes, that's right, it's time for the first annual B.A.D Super Bowl Contest!!!!! Wooo!!!! Right. So here are the rules, You have to pick winners in each of the two playoff games left, then pick a winner from when those teams play in the Super Bowl and you're a winner!!! As a tiebreak you'll need to pick the total number of points scored in the SuperBowl. Sweet Jesus at the Dollar Store, can it get any more exciting??? I'm glad you asked because yes, yes it can. The winner actually wins something!! Yes, I'll send a Big Stubby from my personal collection to the winner!! Heh, no, not that Big Stubby, silly, but rather this Big Stubby. I'll even pluck a few notes with it prior to mailing it out to you so it'll be quite a collectors item and whatnot. Of course if you don't want to collect your prize and you just want to compete for the thrill of it that's okay too. I guess ferners can play too, as you won't stand a chance of winning anyways!
Game 1: Atlanta vs Philadelphia
Game 2: New England vs Pittsburgh
Super Bowl: winner of game 1 vs. winner of game 2
Tiebreak - total points scored in Super Bowl.
Have at it.
To celebrate MLK day I plan on cruising on down to the Hang Lu Chinese Food Take Away Emporium for a giant tub of Chicken -n- Blocoria with a big giant deep fried egg lorr on the side!! Could life be any better?
