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By jump the ladder (Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 09:03:49 PM EST) (all tags)

Ended up going to that damn lap dancing bar (see diaries passim) on Saturday night as aircraft broker wanted some R&R after continous working on the Tsunami relief flights since Boxing Day. Didn't want to go as I was knackered from clubbing the previous night and had only two hours sleep, I'm fairly skint until I get paid for this contracting gig and the allure of the place has gone since I heard all about the real story from SLD.

Poll: are you excited about the forthcoming UKian election?

Desperate to go

Aircraft broker paid for me to go along but really I would have preferred to have an early night but as he was quite stressed out from the job, I drove him down there. Had a pizza first and then headed to club for just after 11. I was so knackered that really I couldn't be arsed with lap dancing even though he was paying. Also I found that he wanted to pull a lap dancer (he's met SLD and he was quite impressed). So I stayed with him for 2 hours but he didn't suceed. Probably me dozing off in the other seat didn't help as the lap dancers come in pairs so to speak.

Planet Angel

Had a much better Friday night down PA. Yes I didn't go au naturelle and I ended up taking 3 pills. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Saw the usual suspects down there and had a bit of a dance. Walked back along South Bank to Waterloo with one of Pre's mates and a nice couple and had a spliff whilst contemplating London's riverside skyline.

< Your mind can play tricks | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

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Executive Relief | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

Re. Title by Herring

(4.00 / 2) #1 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 09:51:55 PM EST

A man goes into a massage parlour and asks for the executive service. So they give him a a desk-job.

I tried not to post that. I really did.

wipo by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #2 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 09:52:25 PM EST

I'm quite excited, but sadly it's the excitement of a detatched observer hoping for a decent spectacle: There could be some seriously low blows and dirty tricks - high entertainment potential etc. For the first time in years, I'm giving serious consideration to not actually voting, which kind of goes against all my democratic, somewhat republican, principles.

Can't bring myself to vote for Labour (and they'll definitely win my local constituency anyway, so it's arguably moot); swore when I was young that I'd never vote tory, and the current bunch are nowhere near being coherent and razor-sharp enough to make me change my mind. The Libs ... who the fuck are the Libs? ... I could almost vote for them but for the fact that, on an awful lot of issues, you'll get three different answers from any given three of their MPs, plus I can't see Kennedy as PM (Pants-down, maybe, but he's gone ... - the world needs more liberal trained killers).

So that leaves protest votes to the Greens (hmmm ...), UKIP (not happening), or some other hopeless bunch.

Reckon I'll slap my cross next to the 'Bring Ronaldinho to Goodison' party ...

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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.

The only excitement in it by Herring

(4.00 / 1) #3 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 09:56:49 PM EST

is betting on how low the turnout will be.

[ Parent ]

Twelve Hertz by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #6 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 10:00:32 PM EST

Low enough to evacuate bowels ...

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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]

which is interesting by martingale (2.00 / 0) #7 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 10:07:13 PM EST

Given that the US elections had such a *high* turnout.
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$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
[ Parent ]

it was as high as it was by MillMan

(2.00 / 0) #22 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 03:01:30 AM EST

because the voters felt that something was at stake this time around. Usually they don't.

It's funny that solid voter turnout in the US is being fueled by a self-important cultural war. I wouldn't call the good turnout a solid win for democracy.

he's not trolling - That's just the truth.
[ Parent ]

: shit, by infinitera (2.00 / 0) #31 Wed Jan 19, 2005 at 03:33:02 AM EST

I wouldn't call choosing between two plutocrats democracy either.
hey man, wanna go beat up some liberals on the daily kos? — rmg
[ Parent ]

Yes, I am excited by gazbo

(4.00 / 2) #4 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 09:57:25 PM EST

Because I've had an accumulator for ages, and that's the last bet. Sod profit margins: the fact it's been placed for so long means that the full £378 will feel like winnings, even if less than half actually is.

"Engarde!" cried the larvae, huskily. - Scrymarch

[ Parent ]

Sort of Feel The Same by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #5 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 10:00:02 PM EST

Will bring myself to vote Lib-Dems but it's merely a protest vote against my ultra-Blairite, pro-war MP, Anne Keen. She's got a majority of over 10,000 and the Tories are second. I hate being in a safe seat.

Ronaldinho to Goodison is a more likely occurence than Labour losing this one which is why it's a bit dull.

[ Parent ]

: IKWYM by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #8 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 10:11:21 PM EST

The excitement, if there is any, will mostly come from any Labour internal combustion which may arise, specifically Brown's block, and any political capital which can be made from it by the others. I've absolutely no evidence, but there could also be the possibility of an incendiary leak / revelation from somewhere - elections tend to bring these things out - so who knows?

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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]

But what about the loonies? by lm (4.00 / 1) #24 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 04:09:49 AM EST

Has UKian politics devolved so much that the monster raving loony party is no longer a contender?

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]

Trouble is ... by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #25 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 04:18:36 AM EST

They got surpassed by genuine loonies (BNP and UKIP amongst others), who take it altogether far too seriously.

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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]

: In what way are UKIP loonies? by dmg (4.00 / 1) #27 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 06:32:34 AM EST

Right wing perhaps. But loonies? They appear to stand against certain types of lunacy. And the rest of their platform seems to be one of sensible self-interest.
Still, I suppose accusing the UKIP of being loonies is to be expected, given the total lack of intelligent debate on the UK's EU membership.
"but won't it be much easier when we go on holiday" etc etc ad nauesum.

The UK, (or at least England) needs to leave this Socialist 'utopia' ASAP.
--
How to deal with trolls..
[ Parent ]

Also by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #26 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 04:49:21 AM EST

<vagueFactsWarning />

Each candidate for a given seat has to pay a 'deposit'. If they fail to secure at least five percent of the total votes for that constituency, they lose their deposit. Some time in the early 1990's (I think ...), the government voted to increase the cost of the deposit by an order of magnitude. I can't remember the old figure exactly, but it was something like £50. The new figure is £500. Fifty quid is, for many people, a reasonable amount of money to throw down the pan in order to have a laugh and make a political point. When they had to consider a five hundred pound loss, the number of enthusiasts understandably fell. Hence: The Monster Raving Loonies don't contest anywhere near as many seats as they used to, and tend to concentrate on the more high-profile ones.

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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]

: Well, that's a crying shame by lm (4.00 / 1) #28 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 07:22:49 AM EST

That fee increase must be part of a plot to take the UK back to a monarchy. £50 is a reasonable fee for any man (or woman) to pay and seek office. Only tyrants and monarchists would even think of asking the man (or woman) on the street to shell out £500 for the honor of seeking office.
There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]

Election by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #9 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 10:19:58 PM EST

I LOVE elections and always take a day off work so I can sit up all night drinking and shouting at the telly.

Nebbish predicts that this one will be slightly more interesting than the last (really boring) one. Tipping applecarts will include the Lib Dems taking solid Labour inner-city seats, UKIP doing well at the expense of the Tories, and (I really, really hope) the BNP losing their northern seats because they are so bloody useless and haven't even bothered to turn up to council meetings, again with the votes going to UKIP.

Comedowns walking through central London at dawn - lovely. Best one I had was crossing the Thames on the Woolwich ferry, the sun coming up and lighting up the Thames Barrier, big fat spliff. It was years ago and I'll never forget it.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

Because after all by gazbo

(4.00 / 2) #10 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 10:27:31 PM EST

People voting BNP probably pay a close attention to the conduct of their MPs in meetings, and voted them in for reasons other then paranoid xenophobic rhetoric.

But I hope you're right.

"Engarde!" cried the larvae, huskily. - Scrymarch

[ Parent ]

BNP losing by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #13 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 11:01:55 PM EST

Well, actually, yes. (For MPs insert councillors, but the point remains.)

What we seem to be missing is that, yes, the BNP is a racist and repulsive party, yes, they spout bile and hatred, but that, actually, the reason people are voting for them are because they seem to be listening. It's a little like the success the LibDems had at local elections - by making their local team seem to be listening to the community, people began to trust them. The BNP have been achieving levels of trust by not spouting out hatred all the time (or at least not explicitly) but by appearing to reflect local issues.

The blame for this, I am afraid, is laid at the doors of the major parties. When Labour and the Tories seem to be offering no real alternative to each other, people are going to turn away from them to any party which offers an alternative, even if they would not normally look at them. Nick Griffin is an intelligent man, and he is using every trick he can to get his party seen as more respectable. The best way to fight him is to deal with the issues that the people he is gaining support from are actually worried about, rather than ignoring them or simply vilifying them. Deal with the problems in their communities, and the BNP support will melt away.

When the BNP have got councillors, people have rapidly become disenchanted with them. Mainly as they are utterly useless at council duties, and end up achieving even less than the councillors they replaced. People want things done, and they don't seem to care who does it.

Um, random, poorly formed rant over. I'll go back to work now...

--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]

Parties on the edge by Merekat

(4.00 / 1) #15 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 11:35:19 PM EST

We've got a similar problem here with Sinn Fein. The mainstream complacent parties rarely bother with deprived areas whereas SF do a lot of doorstep campaigning, and a lot of promising. They're getting votes on the back of stuff that is not remotely relevant to their main aim.

[ Parent ]

Political stupidity by Herring

(4.00 / 1) #17 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 01:24:59 AM EST

The BNP and their ilk (UKIP) seem to be able to get votes because the alternatives are not explained in simple enough language. In short, the mrational parties do not use the same tactics as the "issue" parties. Examples:
"We must give householders the right to defend their property"
Fact: 7 people have gone to court in the last 15 years accused of "excessive force". On of these was for attacking a policeman who was staking out his property. Find me a jury who will convict someone for murder when they used reasonable force (i.e. not shooting a 16 year old in the back).

"Illegal immigrants are claiming millions of pounds in benefits"
No they aren't. The definition of "illegal immigrant" means that they aren't recognized by the state and therefore get no benefits.

"All those [insert racial epithet] taking our jobs"
Demographic timebomb, low unemployment.

It's easy to refute all of the claims of these bastards. Why aren't the major political parties doing it?

[ Parent ]

Because by jump the ladder (2.00 / 0) #18 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 01:34:05 AM EST

Facts like that won't get in the Sun. And the TV new likes run both sides of the argument even if the argument of one side is patently false.

[ Parent ]

: Agreed by Herring (2.00 / 0) #19 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 01:51:37 AM EST

I'm not a massive New Labour fan, but this got me the other day:
Fact: Numbers of hospital cleaning staff halved under the last four years of the Conservative government.
Sun: MRSA infections have soared under labour. We must fix this.

[ Parent ]

because by martingale (4.00 / 1) #30 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 11:30:57 AM EST

The major parties are just as corrupt. A small party like UKIP, with no institutional experience doesn't do its own thing, that's suicide. Instead, it mimics what works for the big parties, which are constantly being scrutinized already in the media. The thing that works well ATM is lying outright and refusing to acknowledge anyone who points out things for fear of appearing weak. So long as a party follows that logic, they're ok for now.
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$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
[ Parent ]

BNP by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #11 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 10:27:54 PM EST

Hasn't got any Northern seats. It's got some councillors, that's all. Hopefully their share of the votes goes down though.

Could see Labour losing a few inner city seats with a significant Muslim minority like Tower Hamlets but not enough to really dent its majority.

[ Parent ]

: Shit yeah by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #14 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 11:14:32 PM EST

I'm hungover this morning, please ignore my idiocy.
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It's political correctness gone mad!
[ Parent ]

The best thing by Herring

(4.00 / 1) #12 Sun Jan 16, 2005 at 10:38:20 PM EST

is reading the election literature. No, wait - that's Japanese viagra spam.

[ Parent ]

: japanese spams are useless by martingale (2.00 / 0) #29 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 11:23:26 AM EST

They insist on putting big blocky pixel patches over all the good bits.
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$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
[ Parent ]

wipo: what election? by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #16 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 12:35:58 AM EST

: HuSi election by Herring (4.00 / 1) #20 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 01:52:51 AM EST

Due to start .... I don't know. When someone can be arsed. I think Sarah Jane Honeywell may be running the project this time.

[ Parent ]

UKian Election by rdskutter (4.00 / 1) #21 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 02:37:13 AM EST

Well it's going to be an interesting one.

Tony Blair and Gordon Brown are fighting over leadership. The labour party isn't very strong, but it is probably the strongest of the three parties.

The tories are looking dead in the water. They've replaced Ian and Duncan with Micheal Howard but they don't really have a chance - but who else are people going to give their non-labour votes to?

Then there's the Ginger Tosser and the Yellow Belly Party who really should pick up a lot of votes this time simply because no one wants to vote for Tony Blair or Micheal Howard. But seriously, when was the last time you heard anything at all from the Lib dems? They've been hiding somewhere since sometime in the summer. Is Charles Kennedy still alive? Has anybody seen him recently?

Personally I'd love to see the Yellow Bellies in power, but I really don't know what's going to happen. None of the parties (except Labour) seem to expect to be in power after the election.

I don't know what the tories want to do, all their policies seem to be out of touch and out of date. They've been pushed off to the right by Labour and they've got nowhere to go. Obstinate as they are not to be leftists. Their isolationist policies to break us away from Europe are outdated now that the political climate has shifted and more of us voters think that actually being allied with Europe makes a hell of a lot more sense than being allied with the Angry American Christians.

The Lib Dems seem to be the only little-bit-left, little-bit-right party worth voting for at the moment. I'd really love to see them in power - I think that the Ginger Tosser would make a very good PM.

My unfortunate prediction is that Gordon Brown will take leadership of the Labour party before its too late. He'll grab the election by miles and Tony Blair will be forced to stand down to give his party some credibility.

"BEEN A BIT CARELESS HAVEN'T WE" - Mr Death

: Can't see Brown getting more than one term though by R Mutt (4.00 / 1) #23 Mon Jan 17, 2005 at 03:41:46 AM EST

He has very little charisma. His years in the Downing Street bubble have eroded what little of the common touch he had. Which was never very much: remember "neo-endogenous growth theory?" Notice that Brown tends to shy away from tough interviews even more than Blair: he's intelligent but not fast on his feet.
It's always the PM who takes most of the flak: faced with defensive press conference after defensive press conference Brown will look a little worse each time, unlike Teflon Tony.
My hunch: if Brown takes over late in the next term he'll get re-elected once. If he takes over early he'll be defeated in the subsequent election.
That's definitely "if" though. Milburn or another newer candidate might be quite likely too.

[ Parent ]

Executive Relief | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback