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TI DAVE'S STEAMING PILE OF TECH REVIEW

By ti dave (Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:33:08 AM EST) (all tags)

ATTENTION: YOU JAP BASTARDS AT SONY

I RECENTLY INSTALLED YOUR "SONICSTAGE" <AIRQUOTES>SOFTWARE</AIRQUOTES> AND I AM LIVID.

THE REALLY ANGRY PART OF THIS REVIEW IS CONTAINED IN THE EXTENDED TEXT.

[editor's note, by BadDoggie] ti dave was a lot angrier than this looks but using the big font in the intro really sucks and being fascists, we editurds have to do this sort of thing. OTOH, the slur and boldface remain in place. After all, he is pretty mad.

HEY, YOU FUCKTARD "DEVELOPERS".
EVERY OTHER CODER ON THE PLANET SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO WRITE AN INSTALLER PROGRAM THAT
1.) DOESN'T FALSELY ADVERTISE A SLIM AND SVELTE PROGRAM SIZE, THAT TURNS OUT TO BE 33 FUCKING MEGABYTES TRICKLING ACROSS MY SHITTY POTS CONNECTION.
IF I KNEW THE FILE WAS GOING TO BE THAT FUCKING LARGE, WHICH IS FUCKING LAME FOR A FUCKING MEDIA PLAYER, I WOULD HAVE USED MY PREVIOUSLY-INSTALLED iTUNES AND TOLD YOU TO SHOVE THOSE BIG MACS UP YOUR ASS.
2.) DOESN'T STEAL MY FUCKING WINDOW FOCUS, YOU LAME-ASS FUCKS.
3.) DOESN'T GIVE ME THE OPTION TO GRACEFULLY CLOSE YOUR FUCKING INSTALLER PROGRAM WITHOUT YOUR BITCH-ASS PROGRAM HI-JACKING MY FUCKING OS AND INVOLUNTARILY RE-BOOTING THE MOTHERFUCKER.

MAYBE I WANT TO CLOSE SOME OTHER SHIT I'M WORKING ON? YOU INCONSIDERATE COCK-SMOKERS.
BUT HA-HA, I CAUGHT YOUR FUCKING LAME "WE'RE RE-STARTING YOUR SYSTEM NOW BITCH, BECAUSE WE'RE SONY. CLICK OK PIG-FUCKER, BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T LISTED ANY OTHER OPTIONS" DIALOGUE MESSAGE AND I WAS ABLE TO MOVE THE FUCKING BOX AROUND THE SCREEN, CLOSE MY OTHER SHIT AND LAUGH AT YOUR FUCKED UP INTERFACE WITHOUT TERMINATING THE INSTALLATION.

ALSO, DON'T TRY TO CHANGE MY FILE ASSOCIATIONS UNLESS I TELL YOU TO DO IT. IF YOU CAN'T FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE USER INTERFACE GUIDELINES, THEN I SUGGEST YOU GO AND BLOW A GREAT DANE.

< No money, no wheels, no passport, and an aggressively defensive | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

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A couple of links, "Bubba Hotep", "Forty Signs of Rain".One...

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TI DAVE'S STEAMING PILE OF TECH REVIEW | 25 comments (25 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

HELL YEAH! by theboz (6.00 / 1) #1 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:40:25 AM EST

THOSE BASTARD PROGRAMMERS AT SONY SUCK!
- - - - -
That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n

I KNEW IT WAS YOU. by ti dave (3.00 / 0) #6 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:47:03 AM EST

YOU OWE THE FREE MUSIC-LOVING WORLD A BIG-ASS FAVOUR.

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

Not me by theboz (6.00 / 2) #12 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:57:23 AM EST

However, there is someone that works for Sony around here. Rest well with the confidence that I punished him for you by kicking him from an IRC channel.
- - - - -
That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n
[ Parent ]

: WELL DONE. by ti dave (6.00 / 2) #14 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 06:03:06 AM EST

I APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT IN MY HOUR OF NEED.
I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

Steaming pile of fetid crap. by Evil Cloaked User (6.00 / 1) #2 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:40:26 AM EST

Sonicstage is the Windows ME of music software. Which is to say, it's a damn sight worse than it's predecessor (Open MG Jukebox) even though the initial software was so bad you couldn't believe people tolerated it in the first place but suddenly you find yourself looking back with nostalgia on the original piss-poor piece of crap.

The installation in the least of your worries. The software itself is a fucking turd.

--
Still, I think most of the problem is just a mental hurdle to overcome, - Cloaked User

: HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THAT'S BAD NEWS. by ti dave (3.00 / 0) #10 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:53:39 AM EST

I HAVEN'T EVEN ENTERED MY BIG MAC CODES YET.
THIS IS GOING TO HURT LIKE A RECTAL EXAM.
I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

try installing realplayer instead by Bob Dog (4.00 / 2) #3 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:41:04 AM EST

they're very slick and considerate
--

: ALREADY DONE. by ti dave (6.00 / 1) #8 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:51:45 AM EST

I ONLY INSTALLED THIS SONICSTAGE PIECE OF SHIT IN ORDER TO SUPPORT SONY'S SATANIC DRM FINAL SOLUTION.
REAL PLAYER'S STREAMING RATE HURTS MY EYES AND MAKES EVERYTHING LOOK STACCATO.
I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

YEAH, WHAT HE SAID! by MohammedNiyalSayeed (6.00 / 1) #4 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:42:57 AM EST

AND IT DOESN'T WORK ON TEH MAC! BASTARDS!

-
You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.

ANGRY FOOTNOTE: by ti dave (5.60 / 5) #5 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:44:51 AM EST

1.) THAT DOS PROMPT WINDOW TITLED "NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS"?
I SAW IT, YOU SLOPPY PROGRAMMING BITCHES.
2.) HEY, IF YOUR FUCKED-UP PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM RUNS ON WINDOWS XP, WHY DIDN'T YOU GET THE MEMO ABOUT "RE-BOOTING AFTER A PROGRAM INSTALLATION BEING A THING OF THE PAST"?
YOU IGNORANT FUCKS CAN'T PROGRAM YOUR WAY OUT OF A PAPER BAG.

STICK WITH VISUAL BASIC, YOU FUCKING DUMBSHITS.

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs

yup by ucblockhead

(6.00 / 3) #7 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:50:45 AM EST

You are being too kind.

If you knew what Sony paid to develop that steaming turd, you'd understand.

Sony software sucks.

My group proposed to rewrite that piece of crap, but we were turned down.

I'm tempted to forward you post to our design guy. He'd get a kick out of it.

At our office, we only install things like "Sonic Stage" on test machines that can be wiped after the test. There's a lot more I could say, but I'm probably get in trouble for saying the above were the wrong people to notice.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO. by ti dave (6.00 / 1) #13 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 06:01:16 AM EST

"BUY OUR NEW PLAYSTATION 3"?

FUCK THAT. SONY CAN KISS MY PASTY WHITE ASS.

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

: Probably will by ucblockhead (6.00 / 2) #15 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 06:06:56 AM EST

Won't do any good, though, as I know that he has quite literally submitted design proposals for something better than SonicStage. (Hardly a difficult task)
Sad thing is, I would have been one of the ones coding it, had he succeeded. I would have liked to. I'm a bit bitter about not getting to.
Imagine how I feel...I work for the people who made that piece of crap, and I have written applications that do almost everything SonicStage does...but attempts to actually put it all together die.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]

LOL *hug* by duxup (6.00 / 4) #9 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:52:01 AM EST

DOESN'T GIVE ME THE OPTION TO GRACEFULLY CLOSE YOUR FUCKING INSTALLER PROGRAM WITHOUT YOUR BITCH-ASS PROGRAM HI-JACKING MY FUCKING OS AND INVOLUNTARILY RE-BOOTING THE MOTHERFUCKER.

The only hate e-mail I ever sent was related to that same issue. There is no good *ing reason any application should restart a system without asking and providing the option not to do so. Guess who where I got the software from? ***ING SONY!
____

: SONY: DRIVING DUXUP TO *ANGER* by ti dave (6.00 / 3) #11 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 05:55:34 AM EST

YOUR WORDS CONSOLE ME.
I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

But does it support Ogg Vorbis? by Bunny Vomit (6.00 / 1) #16 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 06:12:43 AM EST

~~

: PROBABLY FUCKING NOT. by ti dave (3.00 / 0) #17 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 06:17:05 AM EST

THAT'S ASKING FOR A BIT MUCH, DON'T YOU THINK?
SWEET JESUS, I HAVEN'T EVEN RUN THE FUCKER YET AND I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH.
I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

WOW!!1!!!1!! by greyrat (6.00 / 2) #18 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 06:53:23 AM EST

THIS INSTALL PACKAGE MUST HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BY THE SAME WORTHLESS FUCKS THAT WROTE THE INSTALL AND SOFTWARE FOR KODAK <airquotes>EASYSHARE</airquotes>.

Let's hope it's not a trend.

: A LIKELY SCENARIO. by ti dave (6.00 / 2) #24 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 10:21:30 PM EST

I'll BET THAT MRS. TI "I LOVE MALWARE" DAVE HAS ALREADY INSTALLED THAT ONE, SO I'M GOING TO TAKE A BREAK AND SCAN MY REGISTRY FOR ENTRIES SUCH AS "INSTALL ROOTKIT HERE" AND "HE WON'T BE NEEDING THAT CREDIT CARD."
I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

Yes but by webwench

(6.00 / 2) #20 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 08:09:27 AM EST

How do you feel about all this, exactly?

ANGRY UPDATE: by ti dave (6.00 / 2) #21 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 08:20:24 PM EST

AS IF YOU DUMB FUCKERS COULDN'T FUCK THIS UP ANYMORE, I HAVE LOCATED YOUR STUPID FUCKING TSR WITH THE CUTESY NAME OF "ezSP_Px.exe" AND SINCE I ALREADY HAVE TWO OTHER CD-BURNING PROGRAMS INSTALLED ON THIS BOX,
*POOF*.
YOU'RE NOW A .JPG FILE.
I HAVE EATEN SIX BIG MACS IN 48 HOURS, FOR THE SAKE OF SOME FREE MUSIC, SO THIS HAD BETTER BE WORTH IT.

IF YOUR PIECE-OF-SHIT SOFTWARE BRINGS MY SYSTEM TO ITS KNEES, I WILL SWIM TO TOKYO AND CUT YOUR MOTHER-FUCKING HEADS OFF.

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs

<slight sneer><dismissive hand wave> by Rogerborg (6.00 / 1) #22 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 09:41:19 PM EST

We don't do... software.</dimissive hand wave></slight sneer>

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

YOU'RE PROBABLY CORRECT. by ti dave (6.00 / 1) #23 Thu Jun 17, 2004 at 10:16:35 PM EST

I'M SURE THE IMPLEMENTATION OF THIS SHITTY PROGRAM WAS DELEGATED TO SOME COCKMASTER IN BANGALORE.

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs
[ Parent ]

: No, Santa Monica more likely (nt) by ucblockhead (6.00 / 1) #26 Fri Jun 18, 2004 at 04:00:35 AM EST

---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]

exactly (nt) by ucblockhead

(3.00 / 0) #25 Fri Jun 18, 2004 at 03:59:47 AM EST

---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]

TI DAVE'S STEAMING PILE OF TECH REVIEW | 25 comments (25 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback