Those damn Martians. I dunno. They come here, breathe our methane, freeze our bacteria hundreds of meters below the Antarctic surface, leave a few half-started projects on Freshmeat and Sourceforge, then bugger off back to Mars, don't they. That's Martians for you. Typical.

Fucking Martians.

So. The weekend. Got drunk. Got thoroughly teased by attractive but strange lady expert in mixed-messaging systems (her hands are everywhere but then she tells me about her boyfriend.. uh.. thanks, but no thanks..) Got to play piano in a bar briefly. Too briefly. Got sober again.

Got thoroughly photographed by a man who is hoping to make a documentary about a cabaret night I've been performing at. Actually, it isn't about the cabaret night I've been performing at. It's about the Serbian and Afro-Caribbean communities in Portobello. But he's told everyone at the cabaret night (not a Portobello based cabaret night) that he's making a documentary about the cabaret night. He's told us both things, and when I cried bullshit, told me how good a singer he thought I was. Thanks. Typical TV-world incoherent thought process anti-intellectual bullshit crap fuck arse. If this makes no sense to you that would be because it makes no sense.

So, he's hoping to sell the documentary to Channel 4, or so he's told us all. Everyone else involved hears that as 'blah blah blah Channel 4' and seems to think this somehow means they are already on the way to being famous. I seem to be the only one there who understands that he hasn't actually sold the documentary yet, and even if he does, we still don't know what it's going to be about, so there's nothing to get excited about. Nothing at all. And meanwhile, there is no documentary. Just a guy with a camera and a whole lot of words.

So. There'll be another cabaret night on Wednesday at the Mau Mau bar on Portobello road (artificially transplanted from the original Kensal Rise location for the purposes of said documentary), but be warned there'll be buggers prancing around with cameras pretending to film it too, so trot down at your own risk. As not yet sold to Channel 4. Or anyone. Silly people seem to have forgotten that that's the point. Or rather, not the point.

Might as well sell it to the Martians.

All of which led up to the inevitable late-night session plotting to punch a hole the size of Manchester in the music industry using Perl, XML and RSS. Code will be posted soon. Not very good code, mind, but code. If this paragraph gives you ideas, then good. Maybe your ideas will be better than my ideas. I will post something more coherent on the subject soon.

Just as soon as the Martians get out of my head and leave me be a while.

Anyway. Good yomtov one and all.