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By leviramsey (Wed Mar 10, 2004 at 03:49:20 PM EST) (all tags)

MSNBC Christmas Party: Ashleigh Banfield's Revenge

Hi, I am a former Cameraman at MSNBC, my name is Keith Owens. The network fired me in the Middle of January when they found out about my involvement in a conspiracy to potentially cause damage to the network's reputation. I was given a full pension so I can't complain but the network made me sign a written document in which I promise to never share what happened at the company Christmas Party in December. Out of sheer luck, I found this board and will now share the story here. I have to share it to clear my conscience.

It all started the first week of December, famous anchor person Ashleigh Banfield came to me personally and said that she was very angry at the network..among other things, the network had cancelled her Prime Time show and they were now threatening to drop her contract completely. She said that she wanted to find something which she could use to blackmail the network into giving her the upper hand in contract negotiations. However, it was when she told me what she wanted me to do for her when I first realized what a very strange woman Ashleigh is..

She spoke for a long time about how she had gone on an extensive tour of the Middle East in late 2001/ Early 2002 and apparently she had met these unusual Syrian chemists who had given her a sex formula. The formula was top secret and was going to be used on enemy statesman to destroy their careers if president Assad's government was threatened by Western attacks. Ashleigh told me that she had bought several bottles of the formula which wasn't that expensive considering how far the American dollar goes in the Middle East. Ashleigh said that this is where I come in...She wanted me to spike the punch at the MSNBC Christmas Party with this formula. I was a little hesitant at first..she had just admitted to buying trick drugs directly from an enemy of the United States, it almost felt like treason to me.

I asked her, "What happens when a person drinks this formula?"

Ashleigh- The chemists told me that it starts working pretty quickly..they said that the person will be overcome with strong sexual desires and they will desire sex immediately.............

Ultimately I did agree to her plan in exchange for a large amount of money which would be decided upon later...I arrived at the annual MSNBC Christmas Party which was held on Friday afternoon December 19th...Ashleigh had also hired another cameraman to videotape the party and ultimately the tape would end up in Ashleigh possession to use against the station in later contract negotiations...

(She had given me 2 bottles of the potion and on one I opened the cap up and looked was a clear liquid, I wondered how it would work or even if it would was just too amazing to imagine that a weird liquid in a bottle could cause sexual behavior)

(I poured the formula into the red punch and watched the clear liquid mix in with the punch..I quickly left but I hid in the ceiling vent where my friend was positioned with the video camera)

(The party began)

Chris Jansing- I love the Holiday feel around the station this year, the red trimmings along the anchor desks are simply fantastic.

Bob Kur- The network goes all out, our ratings have been up for the last few months and they want to celebrate.

Chris Jansing- Yes, that's right, things are getting better all the time for the station.

Dan Abrams- I probably shouldn't spoil the mood but we are still way behind Fox.

Chris Jansing- Oh Dan, I'm afraid Fox is too hot to catch..perhaps management will focus on beating CNN? They are struggling.

(Natalie Morales and Christy Musumeci walk over)

Natalie- Does anyone know where the punch is?

Chris Jansing- (points) It's right over there Natalie..

Natalie- (walks over and fixes herself a cup of punch and begins drinking) Aahh

Christy Musumeci- Is the punch okay this year? Last year it was horrible!

Natalie- It's great, you should try it..

Christy- That's not a bad idea..(fixes herself a cup and begins drinking)

(Amy Robach and Bianca Solorzano walk over to the punch table)

Amy- Wow, look at everybody, I better get some of this killer punch before it's all gone.

Bianca- Me too..

(Alex Witt and Sam Shane walk over and also decide to have some punch)

(Contessa Brewer and Lester Holt are the last to arrive at the party and they also find their way to the punch table)

Chris Jansing- This stuff is so good!! I don't think I've ever tasted anything like it!

(Now at this point in the party it started to get strange..each anchor began to pair up with another anchor and at first it almost appeared as though they would start fighting each other...MSNBC had some major feuds between the anchors, petty jealousies, disappointed rivals who had never quite made it, etc...perhaps the Syrian chemists weren't aware that the sex formula as a side effect also caused a general lack of self restraint in all aspects of a personality)

Amy- Contessa, what are you doing here?

Contessa- Well, if it isn't the spoiled bitch, Amy Robach, I hear that your dad's a Georgia millionaire.

Amy- Don't act so shocked Contessa, you know that I am better than you, I've always been better than you!!

Contessa- If you are so superior to me, why are you looking directly at my breasts when you talk?

Amy- You're crazy!

Contessa- This low-cut blouse I'm wearing, you can't take your eyes off of it. You are fascinated with my large bosoms..

Amy- (reaches over and begins rapidly unbuttoning Contessa's blouse) I can't help myself..

Contessa- (looks down at Amy's beautiful legs looking so lovely in a short skirt) God, Amy, fuck it, I might as well confess it, I have always wanted you...I could rip off your panties with my teeth, I'm that horny for you right now...

(Amy hurriedly removes Contessa's blouse and bra and begins sucking on Contessa's large hard nipples..Amy's face contorts in pure animal lust as she ravenously keeps sucking the nipples like a mammal thirsty for milk)

Contessa- (unzips Amy's short skirt and lets it fall to the floor) There! Now let's get those panties off! (She roughly rips the panties right off of Amy's thighs) Oh my!!! You are blonde all over!!!!

Chris Jansing- Oh my God! Do you see that?

Sam Shane- (standing very closely behind Chris and he is pressing his hard cock right up against her short skirted ass) Yes I see it, Chris......

Chris- I'm not sure what's come over me but I'm tingling all over my body.

Sam Shane- (begins kissing Chris' neck) I want you....

Chris- Fuck me Sam!!!

(Meanwhile Natalie Morales and Bianca Solorzano are standing next to each other)

Natalie- Bianca, are you watching all of this? Contessa and Amy are acting like lesbian lovers and now Chris and Sam are kissing each other and stripping..Bianca??? What the?? Are you masturbating Bianca?

Bianca- (has her hand inside her skirt) Hhhhhhmmmmmmmmm Aaaaaahhhhhhh

Natalie- Let me help you.. (reaches around and unzips Bianca's skirt and lets it fall to the floor)

Bianca- (eyes rolling in the back of her head) Finger me Natalie! Please!!!

Natalie- I'm not sure why I'm doing this but it feels right (Natalie takes off Bianca's panties and inserts two fingers into Bianca's wet pussy)

Dan Abrams- This is certainly a WEIRD party...

Alex Witt- Fuck me Dan!!

Dan Abrams- That would be like fucking my mother!!!

Alex Witt- Does that matter?

Dan Abrams- Not really...(starts removing Alex's dress and then takes his clothes off)

(Contessa is now eating Amy's pussy)

(Sam Shane has Chris Jansing bent over a table and he is fucking her doggystyle)

(Natalie has now inserted 3 fingers into Bianca's pussy and Bianca has her own fingers jammed into Natalie's mouth and Natalie is sucking on them)

(Dan Abrams is fucking Alex Witt in missionary position)

(Lester Holt watches Alex Witt getting fucked and he wants to get in on the action so he stands right over her face and puts his huge cock into her mouth and she deep throats it like a whore)

Christy Musumeci- This is the strangest thing I've ever seen, it's like some kind of hazy dream.. (notices Chris Jansing getting fucked over the table by Sam Shane....Christy walks over and begins to speak) I have always hated you Chris!!! And look at you now!! You are getting fucked like a common gutter slut!!!

(At the sight of Chris in this vulnerable position, Christy starts taking off her own clothes..When Christy is finally completely naked she shoves her pussy into Chris' face)

Christy Musumeci- Eat my pussy, you arrogant old bitch!

Chris Jansing- (grunting like an animal) OOOOOOOhhhhhhhh Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh (sees Christy's dark haired pussy staring her right in the face and without even thinking, Chris plunges her tongue deep inside of Chris' pussy and starts licking wildly...)

Christy Musumeci- (laughs) The old bitch is eating my cunt!!! This is great!! This is victory at last!!! And MSNBC said that you were their prized journalist?? They said that if my anchor skills had been as good as yours, I would have been a star?? Well, the situation has changed quite a bit...their prized anchor is just a cheap dimestore pussy-eater afterall...(grabs Chris by the hair and forces her face deeper into Christy's cunt)

(With each thrust of Sam Shane's dick against Chris Jansing's pussy from behind, Chris' face pushes deeper into Christy Musumeci's wet box)




(Meanwhile Lester Holt has already cum down Alex Witt's throat and she had her orgasms from getting fucked by Dan Abrams)

(Natalie Morales has just fingered Bianca Solorzano to multiple orgasms)

(Contessa Brewer has just given Amy Robach a dozen orgasms from licking her pussy)

(Chris Jansing who still has Christy Musumeci's pussy juices all over her face, walks over and begins kissing and French kissing Natalie Morales)

It would take far too long to describe how many different people had sex on this night but when the formula began wearing off at around 3 A.M., the stunned reactions on the faces of the anchors when they saw the condition they were in, was priceless...when Chris Jansing looked down and realized that she was completely nude and that she had pussy juices all over her face and semen dripping out of her pussy, she left the party in a hurry........

The mortal enemies, Contessa Brewer and Amy Robach were shocked beyond belief to find themselves nude in each other's arms and the taste in their mouths made them certain that they had performed oral sex on each other....

After everyone got dressed and went home, me and my friend crawled out of the ceiling vent and went to bring the videotape of the night's action to Ashleigh Banfield...when we handed her the tape she was overjoyed....she seemed so positive that the formula had is my theory that she had already tested it on her friends or someone else...

Ashleigh paid my friend $10,000 dollars for taping the event and I was given $15,000 for sneaking the sex potion into the punch...she told us to leave immediately and to never tell anyone about it.....I can only imagine the sadistic joy that she must have gotten from watching that videotape over and over again...she knows now that she has the network brass right where she wants them.....

Imagine if the public saw this tape? MSNBC would become known as "The Sex Network"..none of the anchors involved would ever work in the business again if this tape got out......Ashleigh presented the tape to management during her contract negotiations in the first week of January. She blamed me for the taping idea and I was let go but with full pension as I stated earlier, I would keep my mouth shut and I would be paid in retirement funds for the rest of my life....Ashleigh is still in negotiations...I don't know how well they are going but something tells me that in the end, Ashleigh will get what she wants......

All of the anchors involved that night have resumed their normal lives but they look at each other differently now...Amy and Contessa know that they were lesbian lovers that night and they can't shake that image from their minds....Natalie knows that she fingered Bianca Solorzano...Alex Witt will always remember being used by both Dan Abrams and Lester Holt, and the veteran anchor Chris Jansing got fucked by Sam Shane and she ate Christy Musumeci's pussy..

Ashleigh doesn't know this, but I didn't use every drop of the sex formula, I saved a bottle for myself. I'm thinking of giving it to a friend of mine who works for the Fox News Channel...I hear that they have great Fourth of July Celebrations at Fox...perhaps this year that celebration will be even bigger... : )

< not normally a krugman fan, but.. | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Bizarre Yahoo Group of the Day | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I am conflicted here. by ti dave (6.00 / 1) #1 Wed Mar 10, 2004 at 04:21:50 PM EST
Normally I abhor Fiction, but I'll have to cast the old "+1 Section" vote for this one.

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs

0 Absatin by joh3n (6.00 / 2) #2 Wed Mar 10, 2004 at 05:15:37 PM EST
Discusses NBC, too US-centric.

And contrary to popular belief I don't like to spend all of my time watching gay porn

[ Parent ]
wtf? absatin? by yankeehack (5.50 / 2) #3 Wed Mar 10, 2004 at 05:23:43 PM EST
You thinking of the bedsheets at home?
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB
[ Parent ]
sorry by joh3n (6.00 / 1) #5 Wed Mar 10, 2004 at 06:04:09 PM EST
a)  I can't type too well after poorly written MSNBC themed erotica, it kind of dulls the brain

b)  I can't type well ever, so a) is negated

c)  All flannel, all the time.

And contrary to popular belief I don't like to spend all of my time watching gay porn

[ Parent ]
Keep 'em coming by MohammedNiyalSayeed (6.00 / 2) #4 Wed Mar 10, 2004 at 05:32:50 PM EST

I'm almost tempted to join that Yahoo Group, but I won't, for fear that I'll end up with a mailbox full of crap the next time I remember to login to Yahoo Groups, like I did with the Dykes for Dean group.

The world is a strange and wonderful place. Frightening, and sick, but also strange and wonderful.

You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
Join it by leviramsey (6.00 / 1) #6 Wed Mar 10, 2004 at 06:06:38 PM EST

...but set your email preference to "No Email" and browse the fun through the archives.

Could I be the next Lee Abrams?
[ Parent ]
those dykes for dean by joh3n (6.00 / 4) #7 Wed Mar 10, 2004 at 06:19:40 PM EST
were leeching off the 'Lesbos for Lieberman' meme!

And contrary to popular belief I don't like to spend all of my time watching gay porn

[ Parent ]
Bizarre Yahoo Group of the Day | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback