Print Story Jesus' death confirmed in ancient Ireland
By imrdkl (Sun Dec 28, 2003 at 11:06:36 PM EST) (all tags)
The kingdom of Ireland is pretty damn old. Even Roman historians, in their day, considered it to be ancient. To their credit, the Irish have maintained the historical record of their kingdom meticulously and with great detail. One of the great kings of Ireland, who lived and reigned during the first part of the first century, was named Conor MacNessa. King Conor was described as being, "A tall graceful champion of the noble", and he ruled, it's said, with a fair hand, and a brave heart.

What makes King Conors life particularly interesting, however is not so much the noble and gallant way that he lived, but rather, the way which he died. King Conor, you see, was killed by the same people who crucified Jesus.

King Conor received what, by all rights, should have been a death blow from a brainball. It lodged in his skull during a battle with Cet MetMagach, a Connaught champion. The brainball did not kill the King, but if it were removed or disturbed in any way, it was generally agreed that he would die instantly.

Conor lived quietly for some years after the near-fatal shot, until one day when, according to the historians, his court was "thrown into consternation by finding broad day suddenly turned to blackest night, the heavens rent by lightening, and the world rocked by thunder, portending some dread cataclysm." Conor sought answers from his Druids as to why this was happening, and received an answer from the Druid Bachrach, who told him that, in the East, within one of the countries under the dominion of Rome, a divine man, a God-man, the noblest, greatest, most beautiful and loving of men - had been killed in that very same hour. He was nailed to a cross, and now the heavens and the earth were thrown into agony.

Well, the old King was pretty pissed off about that, that such a great and noble man should be killed like a thief, and in his rage he rushed out into the stormy blackness brandishing his sword for the first time since receiving his wound. He slashed at the bending branches of the trees and cried, "Thus would I treat the slayers of that Noble man, if I could but reach them."

Under the strain of this passion and rage, the brainball was dislodged from his skull, and he fell dead.

The bible says that after Jesus died, there was darkness over the entire earth for three hours. Here, in this brave King, we have testimony to the death (and thus the life) of Jesus Christ some 300 years before Christianity was introduced to the country of Ireland.


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Jesus' death confirmed in ancient Ireland | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
That new testament god is a pussy by Rogerborg (5.00 / 1) #1 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 12:09:23 AM EST
Three hours of darkness and some thunder and lightning?  A real old skool desert god would have drowned the lot of us, or turned us into mice and released an army of Dire Cats or something.  Wrathful deities just weren't what they used to be.

Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
No... by codemonkey uk (3.00 / 0) #3 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 12:21:51 AM EST
That's not wrath, that's greif.

--- Thad ---
Almost as Smart As you.
[ Parent ]
Agreed by Cloaked User (3.00 / 0) #7 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 12:39:21 AM EST
Bugger all that forgiveness and dying for our sins shit. If I was God, I'd show you undeserving, filthy infidels the true meaning of vengeful! Oh, there'd be a judgment all right - and you'd all be found wanting!! Bwahahahahahahahahaa!!!!

ahem Sorry about that; must due to be being back at work, it always has that effect on me...

This is not a psychotic episode. It is a cleansing moment of clarity.

[ Parent ]
Think global by imrdkl (3.00 / 0) #8 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 12:39:47 AM EST
Darkness over the face of the earth was pretty impressive in those days. I had always assumed it was a local phenomenon, and had to go re-read the passage (Luke 23:45-47) to convince myself. Anyways, drowning was out of the question, since He promised to stop doing that after the first time.

[ Parent ]
Of course by hulver (6.00 / 1) #2 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 12:13:57 AM EST
Well there you go. A story, which was written before the entire population of Ireland turned into foaming religious nutters (honest, it was) proves that Jesus lived.

Well, I'm convinced.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

Foaming ? by Phage (3.00 / 0) #4 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 12:27:29 AM EST
Far too effeminate. Sounds like a bubble bath or detergent.
Slathering is more like it. Remind me to tell you the story of why I quit EnormousHardwareManufacturer someday.

[ Parent ]
Here's more proof by imrdkl (6.00 / 1) #6 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 12:29:58 AM EST
This castle in the county of Cork was damaged by the storm.

[ Parent ]
If it's on the Internet, it must be true! by Canthros (3.00 / 0) #5 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 12:28:58 AM EST
I'm thinking that some further research into the subject might be in order before declaring the matter settled.

I'm not here, man.

The book which this story comes from by imrdkl (3.00 / 0) #9 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 12:44:25 AM EST
"The Story of the Irish Race" by Seumas MacManus, is published as non-fiction, and contains more than 700 pages of history. So, at least it's more than a webpage somewhere.

[ Parent ]
Well, that's a start, then. by Canthros (5.00 / 1) #11 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 01:05:19 AM EST
It would still be helpful as regards credibility to know what MacManus' sources were.

It's an old book, too, so it might be equally useful to dig up critiques by more recent historians.

I am piqued, but not convinced. It strikes me too likely that this story is based on an older account which probably had nothing to do, coincidental or otherwise, with the death of Christ.

I'm not here, man.

[ Parent ]
Very good by PhysicsGenius (6.00 / 1) #10 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 01:03:27 AM EST
This is exactly the kind of exhaustive research and tight reasoning that is a hallmark of profound Christian ministry, keep up the great work.
Before replying, please remember that I have a PhD.
Indeed by imrdkl (6.00 / 1) #12 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 01:08:34 AM EST
As I've demonstrated to Mr. Hulver, the account is also borne out by the archeological evidence. With such weighty and overwhelming substantiation in its favor, how can you not but acknowledge the possibility that Someone loves you?

[ Parent ]
I'm a true Christian.Don't bother giving me proof. by ObviousTroll (3.00 / 0) #13 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 01:43:48 AM EST
A few decades ago a rabbi was quoted as saying "If you were to hand me incontrovertable proof that the Torah and Talmud were propaganda invented in the 20th century, it would not affect my faith."

In other words, real faith is not dependent on proof. The whole point of faith is to trust despite proof that your trust is misplaced.

"Forget it. Our military power is culturally based. They cannot rival us without becoming us." - Ralph Peters.

Those old by coillte (3.00 / 0) #14 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 01:54:55 AM EST
Ulster Kings were notorious drunkards. And carousers.

Unreliable witnesses too. If it wasn't a hangover, it was the pangs of Ulster, and if it wasn't the pangs of Ulster, it was a cattle raid that they knew nothing about. And weren't there for.

I'd hazard the Christ interpretation was inserted, or opined, at a much later date - a convenient marriage of proselytization and indigenous myth.


Arms my only ornament...

Interesting by Politburo (6.00 / 1) #15 Mon Dec 29, 2003 at 06:49:13 AM EST
While obviously this could be a coincidence, it is certainly an interesting tale. Also interesting to see all the knee-jerk attacks from my fellow athiests/agnostics.

Jesus' death confirmed in ancient Ireland | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback