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Sitting on the edge of Uranus...

By TPD (Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:19:12 AM EST) (all tags)

up in the Smoke today drinks tonight for work and more importantly a work mates leaving drinks.

A-Team Tiebreak: The evil vilains have locked you in a garage containing a tractor, sheets of metal, welding tools, guns and amunition.... how do you escape this tricky dilema?

Nothing here, Not a thing!

< Perverted by language | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

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Sitting on the edge of Uranus... | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

Obviously you build by Phage (6.00 / 1) #1 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:24:20 AM EST

Either this, or this.

Both are equally achievable in just a few hours work !

It's like magic realism, but not shit. - Scrymarch.

Tiebreak by komet

(6.00 / 5) #2 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:27:48 AM EST

with as much stock film of blowtorches, angle grinders, Murdock carrying large panels of metal around, wierd gun mounts and Mr T slapping things in place as you can fit into 1 minute 30 seconds or however long the tape with the A-Team theme tune is, followed by shots of the villains walking around outside along with some ominous-sounding synth chords (approx 40 seconds), then with the armoured tractor bursting forth from the garage with as much violence and noise as possible, as long as it doesn't drown out the theme tune (2 minutes 20 seconds). Then Hannibal says "I love it when a plan comes together". Then cut to a scene with a chick in it.

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.

Textbook stuff by Herring

(5.00 / 2) #4 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:40:15 AM EST

Except for one thing:

You must fire off automatic weapons in every direction at once for minutes at a time without either running out of ammo, the gun overheating and jamming or actually hitting anyone.

[ Parent ]

: True by komet (5.00 / 1) #7 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:46:14 AM EST

though I believe the guns do actually hit people, it's just the bullets aren't lethal, they just cause people to fall over and sleep for a while. Perhaps the bullets are made out of marihuana?

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]

Important addendum: by Scope (5.00 / 1) #6 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:45:14 AM EST

Any villains thrown by explosions, knocked out of the way, crashed into, thrown from moving cars - must get up and dust themselves down. No-one, I repeat, no-one, must be seen dying. Whilst said villians are flying through the air, arms and legs must be flailed with a freqency of approx 4Hz. This achieves the essential 'comedy flying' effect.
"make sure you end the evening balls deep in tonk throttling snatch" - Breaker
[ Parent ]

Tiebreak by gazbo

(5.85 / 7) #3 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:39:06 AM EST

I'd empty the powder from the ammunition, then use the torch to melt down the casings and sheet metal, before moulding it into the shape of an elephant god. When my captors came in, BA, standing hidden behind the god would shout "Don't you be angering e, foo!" and then I'd light the powder in its trunk, causing an impressive fire-breathing effect.

Scared of holy pachydermal wrath, my captors would flee, leaving us to escape to victory on the tractor, Christened "Bessie" by Murdoch.

"Engarde!" cried the larvae, huskily. - Scrymarch

: A 6 by Breaker (3.00 / 0) #11 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 01:12:15 AM EST

For using pachydermal.
Mad props, etc.

[ Parent ]

Answer: I don't by Rogerborg (3.00 / 0) #5 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:42:39 AM EST

It's not a dilemma, or even a dilema. Please phrase the question properly.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

It *IS* a dilemma by gazbo

(5.00 / 2) #8 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:46:24 AM EST

See, if you were to simply stay holed up in there, you know there would be trouble in the form of execution-style killings.

However, if you were to go, it would probably be double, as the rain of bullets may kill civilians.

So come on, and let us know!

"Engarde!" cried the larvae, huskily. - Scrymarch

[ Parent ]

: Should I cool it or should I blow? (n/t) by Scope (3.00 / 0) #10 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:51:41 AM EST

"make sure you end the evening balls deep in tonk throttling snatch" - Breaker
[ Parent ]

I believe that by Scope (3.00 / 0) #9 Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 12:49:39 AM EST

Was what's known as 'irony'. You see, they always escape on the tractor, therefore, there is NEVER a dilemma. Get it? Or do I have to take you aside and explain further.
"make sure you end the evening balls deep in tonk throttling snatch" - Breaker
[ Parent ]

Sitting on the edge of Uranus... | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

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