The longer version:

I can do nothing right.  Nothing!  The simple act of my giving cards to my mother on Mother's Day found me in the wrong twice.  Twice!  I called my parents in the morning to find out when they would be around for me to drop off cards and visit a bit.  Nobody answered, so I assumed they were at church.  Well, it turned out they were out a brunch and had planned some tour of homes for the afternoon.  I only found this out when my father called me on the sly saying my mother was off her rocker upset.  How was I supposed to know?  I left a message for them!  That was problem 1.  2 happened when I went over;  they didn't get home until 4:30 or so, which was a bit on the late side.  I decided it would be a good idea if I went over with just the dude, and clock would stay home and get some stuff done and fix dinner.  Well, my mother was horribly upset that clock did not come along with me.  So upset that my father felt the need to come over today and ask my why clock did not like them.  What?  "He never comes over with you."  Um, that's because I go over during the day while he is at work.  Not everybody is retired or taking care of a child, you know.  Oh yeah, dad forgot that point.  I then explained why he didn't go on Sunday - I was trying to be efficient, not mean.  My parents are close, but it still takes 30 minutes to get to their house - a "quick trip" takes at least 1 1/2 hours in total.

I am just so tired of all of this.  Every single thing I do is just wrong, wrong, wrong.  Every trait I have is criticized, while similar traits in other people are praised.  ("$X is just so talented!"  me: I can do that too, didn't you see?  "She does it better than you.")

I tried to talk to my sister about this today, and she just laughed (she's so happy she's not the one under the microscope any more).  Great.  Her solution is for me to plan on having my parents over for dinner every week.  Um, no.  I am entitled to a life.  I am entitled to spending time with my little family.  Of course, she's right in a way - it's the only thing I could do that would make my mother happy.

I'm tired of being made fun of (yes, my mother makes fun of me all the time to other people.  I always hear about it).  I'm tired of being expected to give up what little free time I have.  I'm tired of being held to impossible standards.  I'm tired of always having hurt feelings.

I can't even talk to my mother about these things.  Every time I try, she FREAKS out with "DON"T YOU DARE PROJECT YOUR ISSUES ON ME!".  Yeah, mom has issues, she needs help.  Of course, she thinks everybody else has the problem, not her.

I'm too wound up and upset to sleep right now.  It's hard to let family stuff just roll off, ya know?

I desperately need to get far, far away from my parents.  We had a much better relationship when they lived in Florida.