As ana wrote, this weekend Teh Dawg stopped eating and became very lethargic. This morning, we took her to a vet who has been incredibly wonderful to her throughout the past year, and she determined that Teh Dawg had internal bleeding. There was, said the vet, the possibility that she could be saved, but it was clear that the lymphoma was winning. We made the decision to say goodbye. The house is very quiet this afternoon.

Before we took her to the vet - when she could barely summon the will to stand up - she heard something outside, and managed to go to the window to bark, perched on the back of the couch. She took care of us as long as she could.

On March 15, 2000, I wrote in my paper journal about my new dog, Sadie, a nearly 3-year-old Australian shepherd, placed with me thorugh a rescue organization.

Sadie is here. She's a great dog, though she is overweight and scared of her new surroundings. I don't want to give Sadie a bad home. I want all of us [me, cats, Teh Dawg] to be happy and healthy. I just feel overhwlmed right now. I'm ready to go to sleep; Sadie is ready to play. I also don't want her to bark, and when she's bored she barks. [...]
3/16/00. Didn't finish writing last night because I ended up with Sadie on my lap. She weighs probably 60 lbs. Not fun on my lap. She slept until 5:30 am, when she asked to go out. Then she cried for a while; I don't know what about. I'm uncomfortable with the level of intimacy she wants and deserves. I care about this dog, but she's big and hot and she pants a lot. I want her to have a good life. I hope I can give her that life.

I think she did have a good life with me, these last 6 years. We figured each other out, annoyed the hell out of each other, and loved each other. When she met ana, Sadie immediately fell in love. Living here with ana was almost as good for Sadie as it has been for me.

It's hard to believe she's gone. We're going to miss her.