Hammers?

WTF?   3 votes - 100 %
 
3 Total Votes
I swear by duxup (4.00 / 3) #1 Fri Mar 07, 2008 at 09:46:40 AM EST
I'm going to submit a photo for once.

What's a hammer?
____

Dag... by ana (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Mar 07, 2008 at 09:50:14 AM EST
"The Hammar" Skjöld

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
It's a tool by Driusan (4.00 / 1) #14 Sat Mar 08, 2008 at 06:45:00 AM EST
used by cave dwellers to open nuts. It's also used by middle class white suburbanites to insert nails into the the walls of their subprime mortgaged houses so that they can frame and put up pictures of their beautiful only-to-them children.

I don't own one and have no intention of getting one, so I don't know what I'm going to do for this PFC, but I believe they look something like this:

Can`t Touch This

--
Vive le Montréal libre.

[ Parent ]
Oh wow. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #3 Fri Mar 07, 2008 at 09:53:15 AM EST
You hit on a specialty of mine. Such an odd specialty that I never thought it would come in handy in any capacity beyond my own weirdness.

This is gonna be awesome.

STOP! by clover kicker (4.00 / 7) #4 Fri Mar 07, 2008 at 10:01:48 AM EST
Hammer time.

ob'can't touch this. by greyrat (4.00 / 2) #6 Fri Mar 07, 2008 at 10:28:46 AM EST


[ Parent ]
PLEASE HAMMER DONT HURT 'EM by discordia (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Mar 07, 2008 at 10:04:13 AM EST
OH HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN

I mean, just look at this piece of crap

Suddenly, everything looks like a nail! [nt] by greyrat (4.00 / 3) #7 Fri Mar 07, 2008 at 12:09:03 PM EST
[nt] == nail tracking...

how much shopping is acceptable? by discordia (4.00 / 2) #8 Fri Mar 07, 2008 at 06:24:12 PM EST
I've an idea, but it would involve a LOT of 'shopping.

What? by ana (4.00 / 3) #10 Sat Mar 08, 2008 at 02:34:11 AM EST
You have to go buy a sack of hammers? ;-)

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Damn it, by Pasofol (4.00 / 2) #9 Sat Mar 08, 2008 at 01:04:01 AM EST
if I were back in the ex soviet land I could take some great pictures.

Would a mace count? by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #11 Sat Mar 08, 2008 at 04:20:24 AM EST
Tell you what, put your hands on the table, close your eyes, and see if you can tell the difference.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
Let... by ana (4.00 / 1) #12 Sat Mar 08, 2008 at 04:53:33 AM EST
the voters decide.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
All sort of ways to reach enlightenment by me0w (4.00 / 2) #13 Sat Mar 08, 2008 at 05:49:55 AM EST

Equipment used: Nikon P5100

Settings: Uhm ... whatever the camera decided on. I let it think for itself these days.

Post-processing: Scaled the image and then I 'played' in GIMP. I played with brightness and contrast and thought about using some feature that made it look like maggots were eating the picture, but I didn't. I don't think I could specify exactly what I did, nor could I probably ever do it again.



This is the perfect excuse by blixco (4.00 / 4) #15 Sat Mar 08, 2008 at 03:42:26 PM EST
for me to buy a revolver, since all of my current arsenal have firing pins with no real "hammer."
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
OK by Herring (4.00 / 11) #16 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 03:06:40 PM EST
Equipment used: Camera, piano.
Post processing: Made smaller, grey scaled.



You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

You MOTHERFUCKER by BadDoggie (2.00 / 0) #17 Tue Mar 25, 2008 at 08:32:16 AM EST
That was my idea. Almost exactly the same fucking POV as well.

woof.

OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by blixco (2.00 / 0) #18 Thu Apr 03, 2008 at 10:11:47 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by blixco



This is... by ana (2.00 / 0) #19 Thu Apr 03, 2008 at 10:18:34 AM EST
where you enter, yes.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Well where's the exit? by blixco (2.00 / 0) #20 Thu Apr 03, 2008 at 10:32:17 AM EST
Goddamn.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
off the... by ana (4.00 / 1) #21 Thu Apr 03, 2008 at 12:04:29 PM EST
left edge of your picture.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
I changed my mind by blixco (4.00 / 1) #23 Fri Apr 04, 2008 at 06:30:19 AM EST
OKAY?


---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin

[ Parent ]
And equipment + postprocessing: by blixco (2.00 / 0) #24 Fri Apr 04, 2008 at 06:32:14 AM EST
still a Samsung i607 cell phone.  Used Picnik.com editing to change exposure / contrast / brightness / color saturation and added a bizarre "marquis" red lens frame effect.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
I liked the other one better. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #25 Fri Apr 04, 2008 at 07:59:57 AM EST
Still cool, though.
-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
I sort of liked the other one by blixco (2.00 / 0) #28 Fri Apr 04, 2008 at 08:45:57 AM EST
but I have a much better idea for grainy infrared-looking black and white vs. my pistol.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
If I hung out with a different crowd by fluffy (4.00 / 1) #22 Thu Apr 03, 2008 at 11:26:50 PM EST
I could post pictures of people getting hammered.
busy bees buzz | sockpuppet revolution
lul by discordia (2.00 / 0) #26 Fri Apr 04, 2008 at 08:27:07 AM EST


[ Parent ]
OH GOD DAMNIT by fluffy (2.00 / 0) #44 Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 03:53:06 PM EST
I was at a bar with someone Friday night and she was COMPLETELY HAMMERED.  And I completely forgot about this.
busy bees buzz | sockpuppet revolution
[ Parent ]
HOORAY FOR EXTENSIONS! by discordia (2.00 / 0) #27 Fri Apr 04, 2008 at 08:27:55 AM EST
I'm making a trip to my pfc-shoot location this weekend, and by gord, I'm gonna remember my camera this time.

Couple 'o' days of pshopping, and whammola.

Hammer(s) by hulver (4.00 / 1) #29 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 10:43:11 AM EST
I liked the regementation of this.

Hammers
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

wow, you live in a trusting place by discordia (2.00 / 0) #30 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 11:08:28 AM EST
all the hammers near me are locked down with freekin padlocks

[ Parent ]
Safe hammering by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #31 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 10:33:51 AM EST
Those are the ones... by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #32 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 11:18:05 AM EST
that had abstinence-only sex education.
--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM
[ Parent ]
No nailing? by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #33 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 11:45:34 AM EST
That would be sinful. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #34 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 05:46:55 PM EST
Or something.
--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM
[ Parent ]
WTF by celeriac (2.00 / 0) #35 Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 04:36:34 AM EST
does that sign actually say you have to be 21 to buy a hammer?

[ Parent ]
Yep by hulver (2.00 / 0) #36 Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 09:51:34 AM EST
It's an offensive weapon.

Welcome to nanny ukia.

--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

[ Parent ]
what about tire irons and monkey wrenches? by clover kicker (2.00 / 0) #41 Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 04:11:56 AM EST
Do you have to be 21 to buy 5 feet of chain from the reeel?

[ Parent ]
now I'm obsessing about this by clover kicker (2.00 / 0) #42 Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 04:34:07 AM EST
crowbars?

fireplace pokers?

golf clubs?

2x4s? those decorative spindles you put in stair railings?

Hell, a generation of kung-fu movies demonstrates the broom handle as the ultimate hand-to-hand weapon.

[ Parent ]
Here's how it works by Herring (4.00 / 1) #46 Thu Apr 17, 2008 at 03:01:54 AM EST
  1. Newspapers report "Dad/Mum/Child horrifically beaten/stabbed/shot to death with $ITEM"
  2. Government creates another law specifically dealing with posession of $ITEM
It is almost worth killing someone using a tabloid newspaper (rolled up and jammed down the throat should do it).

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
I am so outclassed by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #37 Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 10:29:09 AM EST
but here's Pythagoras:

Preprocessing: Take the T inbound from Alewife. Disembark at Kendall Square. Discover the inbound levers don't really work despite what you read on Wikipedia. Exit station, enter again on outbound side. Utitlize levers.

Take picture with iPhone, because I don't believe in cameras.

Get on train, going the wrong direction. Disembark at Central Square, exit, enter again on inbound side. Take train downtown, change to the Green line at Park Street, arrive an hour early to meet nanoscopically famous author anyway due to arithmetic failure.

Postprocessing in Photoshop: Rotate slightly and crop. After several unsuccessful experiments, manage to make the image greyscale and add some color back. Resize, save, and post.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM

Deal me in by BadDoggie (2.00 / 0) #38 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 03:04:55 AM EST
A Texas Hold `Em `Hammer`

While searching for something completely unrelated I stumbled across this poker blog.

Equipment: Canon 20D with 17-85 f1.4-5.6 IS USM lens and a Metz 50MZ-5 handheld flash. Shot in ISO 200 at f18 (aperture priority) to play with depth of field and 1/250sec, -1/2 stop.

Post-processing: Standard Photoshop clean-up filters: levels, curves, hue/sat, colour balance & bright/contrast -- all just to colour correct (using white balance card in a prep shot). I slightly desaturated to counter the high saturation of the camera settings, then tweaked the colour balance slightly into the blue/cyan range and dropped the brightness using levels because the Metz flash puts out a metric fuckton of light.

Final processing was in lab mode to de-noise the alpha and beta channels and sharpen the lightness channel, then a return to RGB to resize to 1024 pixels because even cropped the pic was more than double that. Unfortunately, this sometime drops colour somewhere so I had to rebuild the colour of just the 7D card with a seriously weird red curve which would prevent the enhancement bleeding into the rest of the card.

For those who feel I may have gone overboard on the post, the source pic is here (reduced to 1024x768; original 3504x2336 available upon request). Nothing but clean-up.

woof.

OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

I'd have to see how that played out by barooo (2.00 / 0) #48 Thu Apr 17, 2008 at 10:45:53 AM EST
but did someone really stick in a ginormous pot with an AK flop with 72 offsuit, all the way to the river?

man, i need a beefy taco now.
-gzt
[ Parent ]
How else could someone win a 'hammer' by BadDoggie (2.00 / 0) #49 Thu Apr 17, 2008 at 11:50:07 AM EST
The 'hammer' being 72 offsuit, per the blog link.

woof.

OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

[ Parent ]
Count me in! by Lady Jane (2.00 / 0) #39 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 03:07:40 PM EST
On a recent trip to LA I spent a few hours at Disneyland and immediately thought of you when I saw this!

Camera:  Kodak EasyShare Z812 IS
Settings:  Automatic
Post Processing:  I cropped and autofixed it!

-----------------------------------------
"Buttons aren't toys" -- Trillian

Host entry (joke option) by ana (2.00 / 0) #40 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 04:03:15 PM EST
Midnight Home Repair

This piece, entitled "Midnight Home Repair" shows all the tools one needs for quality masonry work. After midnight.

Taken just now with a Canon EOS Rebel XT, with built-in flash. Cropped using xv. Acting credits go to The Balvenie, as itself, a masonry chisel from Home Despot, and a nice little sledge hammer. The whiskey glasses were a gift from misslake and ni.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

Curse you by Herring (4.00 / 1) #47 Thu Apr 17, 2008 at 03:02:52 AM EST
Now I am craving the strong drink.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
Will this shame me into getting a camera? by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #43 Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 12:42:58 PM EST
Here's something from the best piece of photography equipment I own at the moment. Hammer, clutter, general lack of space: photographer's own.

A secret view of my bottom drawer.

Loki and Thor by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #45 Tue Apr 15, 2008 at 03:41:23 PM EST

Taken with ana's Canon Rebel XT, on the automagical settings. In Photoshop, I futzed with the contrast, brightness and shadow settings with the idea that I'd take the little "Loki's" whiteness down and make the whole picture a bit more red. Considering that I basically lose all artistic ability when a camera is put in my hand, I'm pretty happy with this shot.

--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM