What now?

Raise a peoples army and seize control of the state   4 votes - 50 %
Put a fictitious all-day meeting in the calendar, then go home   3 votes - 37 %
Get someone to phone. Answer and say "GOD NO! I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN" then leave for the day   4 votes - 50 %
Implement ISO9002   3 votes - 37 %
Inject heroin   0 votes - 0 %
Inject heroine   2 votes - 25 %
Mail entire company with "10 reasons why this place fucking sucks"   3 votes - 37 %
Hide in the smoking room reading the paper and drinking tea   5 votes - 62 %
Fall into a coma   1 vote - 12 %
Punch someone, then deny it ever happened   4 votes - 50 %
Win the lottery   3 votes - 37 %
Masturbate in the toilets   5 votes - 62 %
Forge currency   3 votes - 37 %
Write a novel   2 votes - 25 %
Run away   3 votes - 37 %
Other   0 votes - 0 %
 
8 Total Votes
Comedy WIPO by Metatone (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 01:09:48 AM EST
Fix the data access?

;-)

I'd love to by Herring (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 01:13:20 AM EST
But it wouldn't be allowed.

Only DBAs have permissions to change things in the database and only coders have permissions to change things in the code. I'm neither. Also, this means that if, say, the code wants to persist an attribute which was previously calculated, they can't just add a field to the table. No, there has to be a meeting involving a minimum of 4 people.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
Comedy WIPO 2 by Metatone (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 01:43:03 AM EST
Arrange a meeting with every DBA and coder present. Make sure everyone attends. Then go home.

[ Parent ]
better yet by komet (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 03:04:18 AM EST
show up roaring drunk, shouting abuse.

I'm surprised your developers haven't sneaked some spare fields into every table.

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.

[ Parent ]
I left all that behind when I left Crap Corp [n/t] by Herring (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 03:10:44 AM EST


You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
A meeting like that only ever happens by Herring (4.00 / 2) #9 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 03:08:48 AM EST
if we need to add two fields.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
Funny you should say that by Phage (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 01:19:31 AM EST
I have an all-afternoon meeting in another office that has just been cancelled. Should I tell anyone ?

Anchor @ 2:00pm ? by Herring (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 01:28:16 AM EST
Sadly I don't think it's practical for me.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
Bugger by Phage (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 01:31:19 AM EST
Still, there's the duck out to meeting and...just go home, approach.

[ Parent ]
And here I am by Phage (4.00 / 1) #12 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 04:50:12 AM EST
'Working from home' <snort>

[ Parent ]
They've locked-down the screen res? by Cloaked User (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 02:30:08 AM EST
Is that even legal? I'm thinking specifically about disability and health and safety laws, although obviously I'm no law-talking guy.

Regardless of that, it's just plain rude - I appreciate that the computer I'm provided with isn't mine, but I'm the one using it. If I want to change the resolution I don't see whose business it is but mine; it's my eyes that will be staring at it.


--
This is not a psychotic episode. It is a cleansing moment of clarity.

It probably isn't legal by Herring (4.00 / 1) #11 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 03:14:24 AM EST
But we don't really care about that.

When I started here, I had to frig the policy settings in the registry so it would let me change mine up to 1280x1024. Anything less is unworkable.

I could do with a really big screen so:
a) I have a chance of seeing more than a small portion of a Rose UML diagram at a time
b) It conceals the habitual gum-chewer who sits opposite me.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
Twenty quid says the developers configure theirs by ajf (2.00 / 0) #13 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 02:13:15 PM EST
so they can't see any portion of a Rose UML diagram.

"I am not buying this jam, it's full of conservatives"
[ Parent ]
Why would they want to see any portion? by Herring (4.00 / 1) #14 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 03:57:23 PM EST
Design and analysis are done for the benefit of the management who want to see that we're doing design and analysis. It only takes a few minutes and maybe a freehand sketch on a pad to explain to a smart developer how something should be done to fit in with the bigger picture. All these huge documents with elaborate pictures are just to prove we're doing something.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
Note to techies: by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Dec 12, 2006 at 05:04:57 AM EST
If you don't provide us users with an easy, consistent way to let you know about bugs, we ain't gonna break our balls to tell you about them.