Web acceleration

Works for me   1 vote - 14 %
Don't notice any speed increase   1 vote - 14 %
Slowed my junk down   0 votes - 0 %
Never seen/used it   5 votes - 71 %
 
7 Total Votes
Dear Hulver.com Technical Support by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 5) #1 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 03:40:17 AM EST
Two-thirds of my 1280x1024 screen is taken up by a single diary intro.

Love
A Loyal Hulver.com Customer

 

Dear Loyal Customer

Root Cause 17

Love
Hulver.com Technical Support

---
Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline

QA report: Defect not confirmed by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 3) #5 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 04:02:08 AM EST
Tested at 1600x1200, vertical usage only 40% of screen. Customer needs to upgrade equipment.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Rating: 2 by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 04:56:15 AM EST
Monkey neglected to pay for and install equipment upgrade.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Also, by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 05:13:41 AM EST
monkey neglected to hire a set of porters to carry said equipment around to where I want it.

I've already got enough pixels, I just use them to render the screen more smoothly.

[ Parent ]
Indeed by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 06:18:22 AM EST
Husi should only be viewed with the following products:

here, or for the more impoverished, here.


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
Haahahah, that's hilarious by Rogerborg (4.00 / 3) #2 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 03:42:22 AM EST
I mean, that your pay is dependent on keeping fuckwits happy, but you're apparently more concerned with some snooty higher concept of telling them the truth.  I always wondered what happened to Wesley Crusher.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
Don't think I didn't consider this by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 3) #4 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 03:58:57 AM EST
Tickets are peer- and management-reviewed for style and accuracy.

I had no idea that this guy was so hell-bent on getting a Web accelerator. I thought I would make him happy by saving him a load of money for useful items that he was about to throw away something utterly useless.

How was I to know he's in middle management?

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Probably by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 06:48:19 AM EST
His boss marched into his cube and said "Our customers are complaining! Do something about the latency now! I don't want any excuses!"
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
Oh come on by TPD (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 03:57:35 AM EST
if it's taking any longer than (latency + datasize/bandwidth) to load your developers are just being lazy ;).

why sit, when you can sit and swivel with The Ab-SwivellerTM
Exactly! by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 04:59:01 AM EST
Can they just use a 5GL language like Prolog that works backwards from that constraint in order to produce an algorithm that solves for it?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
I’m luckey by duxup (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 05:05:24 AM EST

My boss’s reaction to such situations is more often than not Customer X complained about you, but they’re idiots so nobody is worrying about it.

This is because that I’m lucky that my bosses actually understand the situation, and even that is rare because most of the time the customers actually listen to me.   Not because I’m particularly smart, mostly because our product can be a bit confusing and I think it scares people.

I have run across some wide area network optimization hardware that is surprisingly powerful.  Of course they don’t just rely on compression and pre-fetching.  The more advanced devices on the surface seem to do a handful of what I would think of as minor optimization actions and it is surprising how well they add up.   A few folks I’ve seen have saved a ton of time and $$$ to the point where I wonder why everyone doesn’t buy these things.  Of course that is measured by overall network traffic and improved performance over multiple applications, and some guy who couldn’t troubleshoot his own network might not see a big improvement, if he knew how to find it in the first place ;)

____

I think by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Jun 28, 2006 at 06:49:14 AM EST
You should have recommended AJAX.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman