I permit myself to have a moment. I light a stick of incense and sit and think about my mother and have a bit of a cry, but i always feel better for it afterwards, makes me feel very grounded and human. you still get to love people after they die, can still draw inspiration from them, and every year that goes buy you think less about the hurt and loss and more about the good memories. I think about the aspects of myself that I'm indebted to my mother for and just take comfort in the fact that, through me, she's still very much expressing herself in the world