For me, the contest came down to "George [Insert Serial Number Here]" and "The 411." It came down to the wire, but I had to throw my support to the ol' four eleven. I like the dewy-eyed lovers tone, the somewhat cryptic ending, the machine's neediness, and the comedic contrast between the machine's access to information networks and its general ignorance of the world around it. It's William Gibson's "Gentlemen Prefer I-Phones."
Good show everybody. But there can be only One! 411, that is.
But I can't just say that, not without the appearance of endorsement, so maybe if I do it as a reply to a previous endorsement and treat it as a point of contention, folks would be more comfy with it, or at least excuse the blatant favoritism.
So: fuck you, CRwM. Dian Bling is where it's at.--------------------------------- "You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin[ Parent ]
My fellow Americans, and my neighbors in the UK and the unincorporated Northern Territories, we stand at the crossroads of history. We come from all over the English-speaking world – and a few places that aren't: like Australia. Together we've forged a great traditional of rapidly written, poorly edited, on-spec fiction. Only on HuSi would our story be possible.
Scientific research shows a strong correlation between voting for Dian Bling and incidence of cervical cancer. That's a fact, because it's science. And we must always remember, only on HuSi is the story of this research possible.
Furthermore, people who vote for Dian Bling a horse-thieving, barn-burning, human traffickers who get their thrill kicking puppies – extra cute puppies that love their owners and want nothing more to bring joy to the world. Our democratic, free, and puppy loving institutions recoil at such practices. And we must remember, as long as we live, that only on HuSi is the story of these institutions even possible.
Why do they do it, these cruel and heartless Dian Bling voters? Some say it has to do with their worship of eldritch deities who demand child sacrifices and require their devotees deface the private property of other. Personally, I just think their bad apples.
Is that the kind of person you want to be?
Vote for experience and change. Let's maintain the status quo while boldly forging new directions for the WFC. Vote "The 411." [ Parent ]
That being said, the very best outcome from voting for The 411 is blindness to the sorts of elitist propaganda that you often see bandied about by multi-syllabic Ivy league bullshit merchants on our beautiful website.
Not that there's anything wrong with The 411. On the contrary, it is a perfectly fine story, unfortunately endorsed by and caught in the web of lies of the local hipster glitterati and their ilk. It is sad when a perfectly OK story about a thing becomes embroiled in intellectualized catfights by Vice Magazine subscribing skinny jeans wearing Eco nerds. It's sad when an extravagantly vibrant, beautifully toned, wonderfully dry and perfectly balanced story like Dian Bling which just happens to be about a blue collar appliance in a modern world, is mercilessly skewered by high-minded intellectuals who spend all of their time pretending to know important literature while working on their own never-ending novels about hipster trash in New York.
No, there are no conclusions one should draw from The 411 being endorsed by snooty, ill tempered litnazis. Christopher Robin McSweeny's endorsement of The 411 should not at all impinge on the ernest effort put forth by the author. I'm sure the author is, at this moment, lawyering up and preparing to fight this "endorsement" in court to represent the best interests of literature.
While that drama plays out, might I recommend that you vote for Dian Bling, a simple, wonderful story about a hard working appliance and a serial killer?--------------------------------- "You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin[ Parent ]
Is their culture what represents you! Will you be pandered to any longer?
A vote for 411 is a clear signal to these fat literary insiders and tastemakers that they better get their thumbs out of their asses, 'cause you plan to shove their story where the sun does not shine!
HuSians, I don't want this noble contest do disintegrate into personal attacks. That blixco drinks the blood of Christian babies and sleeps with pigs is no reason you shouldn't take him recommendation seriously. Instead, you should look at the thing objectively and ask: If Dian Bling is so great, where was it on 9/11? When our boys were dying in Iraq, where was Dian Bling? When the housing bubble collapsed and thousands of Americans lost everything they had, where was Dian Bling?
I'll tell you where! Sitting with blixco on a private beach on a secluded Caribbean island downing mai tais and feeling up five-diamond whores from the Emperors Club! Is that working class?
It's time that the working man chased these degenerate reprobates out of this WFC!
"The 411" or Blood![ Parent ]
The antithesis of that utopian vision is best encapsulated by the frothing madness of noted The 411 endorser and critic of all rational thought, Christopher Robin was Murdered (if that is, indeed, his name). While playing on the fears and encouraging the hatred that has engulfed our post 9/11 world, CRwM has managed to drag down what could be a fine piece of storytelling, The 411.
You can pick your enemies, and you can pick your friends. The 411 gladly returns CRwM's fetid embrace by not speaking out against his libelous, hate-filled warmongering. We must take it upoon ourselves as rational, right-thinking beings to promote only those elements in our society that encourage and further our desires for freedom, science, and hope. It is obvious what path The 411 has taken.
We didn't land on CRwM. CRwM landed on us, enslaving us with his hypnotic us-versus-them hatred, his complex Nazi-esque tactics, his paranoia and persecution complex, his hatred of Muslims, and his complete lack of regard for the future of this challenge, this site, indeed this country.
The WFC and those of us truly interested in the welfare of it must embrace our peace and freedom, must breathe deep the fresh clean air of change, must fight the encroaching blood lust of known hater CRwM and his minions.
And while we engage the hateful parody of a user that he is, I encourage you to vote Dian Bling as the ONLY reasonable choice among free thinking, rational men.--------------------------------- "You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin[ Parent ]
