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Sunday, 21st October. Starting in the afternoon sometime.
ni and i like to make stuff ourselves, like bread and beer, wine and meals from scratch, and we like to grow our own food. it's fun to have made something all by myself.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields.
I have lived at least four different lives in California - the life of the miserable social outcast, the life of the arrogant nerd desperate to escape from home, the life of the socially awkward stoner computer programmer, the life of the moderately successful married computer programmer-cum-law-student. (In a different telling, these lives could stretch out to six, or maybe even seven, but I can’t shrink them to fewer than four).
My life in California is ending at the end of this month. I’ll be back to visit, but visiting is never the same, and distance changes even the strongest love (even if the connection remains strong, it is different, twisted somehow, and bears the marks of distance and the fact that your paths have diverged and that you are now at the same time both strangers and friends, bonded by an ancient glue which is no longer being nourished and renewed). It’s possible I’ll be back to live - today, I’d say I want to; my tribe is here, my friends and family, most of the people I love. But five years is a long time, and who can say what I will want in five years - and, who can say whether my tribe will still exist in five years to come home to? It cannot be counted on, it cannot be expected; it cannot, in some sense, even be hoped for. If I were to come back, I would be starting yet another new life, with shared scenery and some shared friends, I would not be resuming the life I have today. That life is over.
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Wednesday July 6th
- So where was I? (12 comments)
Friday July 1st
- Automatic Asshole Correction (15 comments)
Sunday May 22nd
- We owe it to each other to tell stories. (10 comments)
Monday May 9th
- There was, once. (21 comments)
Wednesday April 27th
- Another good moment (10 comments)
Thursday April 21st
- There's almost certainly a word in German for it (20 comments)
Sunday April 10th
- Lying (8 comments)
Sunday March 27th
- Safety (20 comments)